The Zipper Pull Broke. I Did Not.

A repair guide from someone who has survived a century of stubborn things

Dear reader,

I have lived one hundred years. I have outlived three presidents I liked, two refrigerators I loved, and every single person who ever told me zippers were "disposable." So when the little metal pull tab snapped off my favorite jacket last Tuesday, I did not throw the jacket away. I do not throw things away. That is how I have lived to one hundred — a thing that is broken is simply a thing that has not been fixed yet.

Sit down. Here is how we do it.

First, Understand What Broke

A zipper has two parts that matter today: the slider (the little metal house that travels up and down) and the pull tab (the dangly bit your fingers hold). Nine times out of ten, it is the pull tab that snaps or falls off, leaving you pinching a tiny nub like a man trying to hold a grape with oven mitts.

The good news: the slider still works. The zipper is not dead. It has simply lost its handle. A door without a knob is still a door.

What You Will Need

Gather these before you begin, because we do not get up and down eleven times like a yo-yo. One trip to the drawer, one cup of tea.

• A replacement pull, a small key ring, a paper clip, or a bit of cord with a knot in it. (In 1947 I fixed a duffel bag with a button and some thread. It outlived the bag.)
• Needle-nose pliers, if you have them. If not, any pliers. If not, a determined thumb and forefinger and a prayer.
• Good light. My eyes have seen a century; they deserve a lamp.

The Fix, Step by Step, Without Hurry

Step 1. Put the jacket on a table, not on your lap. Laps are for cats and grandchildren.

Step 2. Look at the slider. You will see a small loop or hook where the old pull used to hang. If a broken shard of the old tab is still stuck in there, work it out with the pliers, slowly. Hurry is how thumbs get pinched, and pinched thumbs are how men my age learn new vocabulary.

Step 3. Now attach the new pull.

• With a key ring: slide it through the loop, done. Strong as a mule.
• With a paper clip: open it halfway, thread it through the loop, close it back with the pliers.
• With cord or string: fold a short piece in half, push the folded end through the loop, then pull the two loose ends through that fold and tighten. Sailors call this a "lark's head knot." I call it Tuesday.
• With a proper replacement pull from a sewing shop: thread it through the loop and squeeze the little connector shut with the pliers until it clicks or until your conscience says "enough."

Step 4. Zip it up. Zip it down. Zip it up again, because it is deeply satisfying.

If the Whole Slider Came Off the Track

Ah. Now we are talking about a real tantrum.

Take your pliers and gently — gently! — pry the slider open a hair, just enough to slide it back onto the teeth at the bottom of the zipper. Line up both sides of fabric. Ease it upward. When the teeth mesh again like an old married couple holding hands, press the slider closed a touch with the pliers so it grips properly.

And here is the secret my grandmother taught me, may she rest in peace: rub a little candle wax or a dry bar of soap along the teeth. They will slide like Saturday night.

Final Thoughts From the Porch

The young people sell "zipper repair kits" now. Eleven dollars for what I do with a paper clip and spite. But I suppose eleven dollars is fair for what they are really selling: the idea that anything can be fixed at all.

That idea is worth more than eleven dollars.

A broken pull does not mean a broken zipper, and a broken zipper does not mean a broken jacket, and being old — listen to me now — being old does not mean being done. Things get fixed. We get fixed. Sometimes the fix is a key ring. Sometimes it is a nap and a piece of toast.

Now zip up your jacket and go outside. The weather is fine, the zipper is fixed, and I am one hundred years old, so I am allowed to say: you look wonderful.

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